A Lovely Day

Loosing my mind is a thing of the past!  Alexa slept for twelve and a half hours last night without a peep and she seems to be back to her happy, fun, non-temper-tantrum self again today.  Every day is getting better and better.  We went to the beach this morning and had so much fun.  The weather was perfect, the sand was fluffy, and the ocean was clear turquoise although a bit cold, but we still swam for small bits of time.  We had a little picnic on the beach together and built and destroyed sand castles.  While Alexa napped in the afternoon, I was able to enjoy a bit of yoga on the terrace.  It was a lovely day… and productive too.  I’m catching up on work, updating my blog and facebook, and studying my French while she sleeps tonight.  I think we better do it all over again Sunday.

I'm loosing my mind

Contrary to my blog a couple of days ago, I’m loosing my mind.  I’m in French paradise and things are not going as smoothly as previously suspected.  Alexa is NOT adjusting this time to the new time zone or the fact that we are in a strange place, alone, and Daddy is no where to be found.  I can’t even take a shower without her standing outside the shower crying for me.  She will only sleep if I lay down with her in her bed and if I try to sneak out for a few hours while she sleeps to try to work or do something, anything, for myself or around the house, she wakes up crying for me and we have to start all over again.  In addition to all this, Alexa is fighting me no mater what I try to do for her… change her diaper, help her get dressed to go play, it doesn’t matter, a fight.  This is NOT my sweet little Alexa angel.  This is my sweet little Alexa angel in crisis mode.  It is so hard on me.  I’m exhausted and my patience is not what it usually is.  Not only am I not sleeping either, but being prego on top of all this is really wearing me down physically, mentally and emotionally.  Plus, I feel awful for her.  She must be so confused and afraid right now.  Strange place, strange people, everyone here speaks a strange language, no Daddy.  I am trying to be understanding, compassionate, explaining things as best I can to her… all the while also trying to let her know throwing crayons at me, screaming at the top of her lungs, deliberately doing what I ask her not to do and kicking me is not appropriate.  In between dealing with Alexa’s 50 million melt downs these last two days as well as a few melt downs of own, Alexa and I managed to hang at the beach, play at the park, ride a bike to another park, have pizza at a local beach café, go on a few walks, eat some gelato, grocery shop, oh and I actually was able to work just enough to get by one more day while she napped and one night while she slept.  OMG, I’m loosing my mind.

Lotus Flower Family

The ocean beneath your feet, the gentle rocking of the boat, like rocking a baby to sleep.  Sunrises paint the entire sky purple, orange, pink.  Ocean breezes moisten your skin and salty dew in your hair.  Sunsets, moon rises, moon light glittering on the waves, so, so, so many stars.  You feel connected to everything and nothing at the same time.  I feel what George is feeling.  That’s why it didn’t surprise me one bit when I received a phone call from him telling me “this is so me.  This is what I am supposed to be doing.  This is what WE are supposed to be doing.”  I agree.  We are supposed to be on the water.  That connection is stronger than I can explain in words.  Today, if I were to choose to sail across the ocean working on someone else’s yacht, each minute the ocean took the boat farther away from my Alexa, I would crumble.  I would literally die inside and crumble.  Yachting days were the best days of my life.  But I knew, when I looked into Alexa’s eyes for the first time, I would never work on a yacht again unless I could take Alexa with me. Some people do it and love it.  They have great owners who understand and respect their crews wants and needs for family.  For me, most likely working and living on someone else’s 100 million dollar yacht is not part of the equation any longer, but why not own our own smaller yacht and sail around the world as a family.  This nomadic, free-spirited mommy is still a yachtie mommy at heart.  A couple blogs ago I mentioned beginning to grow roots… well, who ever said my roots, my home base, needs to be on land?  Think of the lotus flower.  They live, breath, thrive in the water and they are the most beautiful, spiritual flowers of them all.

We Made It… Finally!

As always, Alexa did surprisingly, absolutely amazing on both flights for the entire thing.  She only slept about 2 hours total, but kept in good spirits mostly the rest of the time.  For me that trip is on a similar level to someone ripping your nails off your toes and fingers one by one with pliers.  It is just impossible for me to find a comfortable position and I am always dying of dehydration begging the damn flight attendants if I can find any of them to PLEASE BRING ME SOME MORE WATER!  What the hell do you think I am, a camel?  This bump is not on my back, it’s on my belly damn it!  Making the most out of these torturous hours and hours of pure ass numbing, feet swelling awake time, I focused some on baby distinctly feeling her move three separate times for about 20-30 minutes each time.  His kicks and punches like little fingers poking me from the inside.  It’s the only time in your life you can honestly say when someone kicks and punches you that it warms and melts your heart.

So… now we are here, in Southern France and it’s fucking cold!  Cold in a good way though, perfect weather really in my book, but waaaaay too cold to swim or go to the beach for these Southern Floridians.  The cold is comparable to San Francisco in the Spring.  Chilly in the morning, warms up some mid day with the sunshine, then chilly again at night.  Attire, layers.  Alexa and I are both already on France schedule and it hasn’t even been a day.  She is sleeping right now while I type away on my laptop on our gorgeous terrace overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.

Our apartment is perfect.  The perfect size, clean, great location, it’s even equipped with a toddler guard gate already installed for us on the stairs.  The place is modern… mostly, minus the no AC, but who needs it over here?  The terrace is massive.  We could have great dinner parties at this place IF WE HAD ANY FRIENDS HERE.  Listen you Yachtie Mommy blog followers, come visit us in the French Riviera please so we can shower you with French wines and champagnes and fill your bellies’ with marvelous Mediterranean food.  Please.  Come on now… are you really making me beg?

Sunday, the Day before Heading across the Pond

Good Morning!  What a nice, calm, peaceful Sunday morning today is.  Alexa is still sleeping, a little odd at this late hour in the morning of 7:30am.  This extra sleep is good since we will be embarking on a long, long journey tomorrow to South of France.  I’m finishing laundry, packing, and last minute trip provisioning today, plus a few extra home lock-down preparations for hurricane season …and then, of course, planning to have a little outdoor fun with the munchkin before we are stuck in a mostly seated position for 16 hours tomorrow jumping ahead 6 time zones.  Our carry-on bag will consist of organic cheddar bunnies, “Yummy Earth Organic” lollipops, a portable DVD player, DVDs, laptop, iPhone loaded with toddler apps and cartoons, diapers, wipes, kitten blanket, coloring books, sticker books, crayons, washable markers and activity books like matching, connecting the dots, tracing, mazes, and number and alphabet games.  Oh and of course, passports and an optimistic drawing pad for mommy.  We leave the house Monday morning about 10am (my good friend Nathalie is kind enough to take us to the airport) to catch our flight at 12:20 from FLL to JFK.  Then, after a 3 hour lay over, we jump on our flight from JFK to Nice, France arriving in Nice at 8:20am.  Our friend Kevin will pick us up from the airport to take us the 30 mins drive to our chateau in Antibes / Juan les Pin in the French Riviera.  We will be greeted at the gate by a most generous British woman called Kim who has already stocked the villa with a couple of essentials I asked for… fresh fruit, OJ, fresh baked French bread, salad ingredients, fresh French olive oil, and a package of diapers and wipes.  She is so kind for setting us up like that.

Flying over to France is time is kind of bitter sweet.  George won’t be there to great us like he was in the past.  He isn’t due to arrive until June 18^th or somewhere around there depending on weather.  So, that is a real bummer.  We miss him!  Secondly, I’m going to miss all my friends in Florida.  We love traveling so much, but it is starting to get harder and harder to leave my friends and family.  I’m not complaining about our lifestyle by any means, I mean, getting to spend summers in the Med and winters in the Caribbean is nothing to complain about… but imagine being me in this reality for a second.  I’m flying to a place far, far away alone, 4 and a half months pregnant with my 2 year old daughter.  We arrive in country I barely speak the language and I know no one, but George’s friend Kevin who actually lives in Italy and I actually don’t know him very well.  I am leaving all my friends and family behind and won’t be able speak to them very often via phone since it costs to much.  Thank God for Skype, but I can only do that every so often because of schedules and time differences.  Once Alexa and I arrive in France, I have to find my way around to the grocery store, out door markets, beaches, parks and a place to get a local phone.  On one hand, it is all very exciting.  On another hand, it’s a bit stressful and lonely.  It usually takes us a week to get fully adjusted in a new place to figure out where things are and get into a new routine.  Alexa and I are both great adjusting to the new 6 hour time difference.  Jet lag is only about 24 hours for us because it is really just extreme exhaustion at first since we force ourselves into immediate adjusting by staying awake the first day taking naps, meals and night time sleep on France time.  Yeah, we don’t mess around.  It is full on the second we step off that plane.  Although I am one to value alone time, I do miss my friends and family more and more as my family grows.  I never thought this free-spirited nomad would say this, but as my family grows, my own roots long to grow begging to stay planted for longer and longer periods of time.  Don’t get me wrong… I am definitely still a free-spirited nomad, just one who wants a real home base now too.

I figure by the time George arrives, Alexa and I will be adoring morning bike rides along the French Rivera coast to a fresh French bakery where we devour our daily croissant frais, jus, et cappuccino de déca.  Then maybe we will head to la plage, or maybe le parc, or maybe we will have already made some French amis and have some Frenchie playdates.  The best part about being 6 time zones ahead of Florida is I am 6 hours ahead of my job schedule too.  So, I get to enjoy my mornings with Alexa in France without hounding emails of emergency projects.  As soon as she goes down for her afternoon nap, the emails start and my work day begins.  While she sleeps peacefully, I create graphic design and websites for companies back in the states on their time with no interference in either of our days.

Well, must get back to packing.  My biggest dilemma… how the crap am I going to fit 3 months worth of mine and Alexa’s stuff into two carry-on sized suit cases?!?!?

Good Weather, Great News & More Great News!

I’m coming to a close of my second week straight of working in crisis mode.  Ending days at 1am and restarting at 4 or 5am still hasn’t given me enough time in my day to complete my never ending list of work and other shit on my plate.  I’m in a panic trying to get it all done before….  Why this time crunch?  Well, Alexa and I are flying to France on Monday for 3 months and there’s a ton of stuff to do before we leave.  Daddy G left today to sail a yacht trans-Atlantic.  We won’t see him again until June 20-something.  He’s taking the yacht to Italy, then meeting us over in Juan les Pin / Antibes France.  We already miss him and are praying for good weather and a safe, uneventful voyage.

Some of the many things on my to do list this week before Monday are loads of doctor appointments for myself and Alexa.  Yesterday was the Pediatrician… today we visited the office of Alexa’s surgeon to check on the hydronephrosis in her kidneys which occurred after surgery.  A month ago they weren’t sure if the hydronephrosis was caused by a blockage or something else.  Thankfully, today the results proved the blockage possibility wrong.  Much of the fluid has reabsorbed.  Much more than they even expected at this point.  Yay.  Her right kidney is significantly smaller than the left due to the reflux condition and permanent kidney damage, but they aren’t too concerned.  She will have to be monitored on a regular basis to check for protein in her urine and other complications as she grows.  I think despite the difference in size and function, her kidneys will work perfectly together as a unit for the rest of her life and we will never have to worry again.  J  The news of the massive reduction in hydronephrosis is such a relief.  She will stay on antibiotics for a week or so after we arrive in the Med and then FINALLY OFF THE ANTIBIOTICS, if I choose!… Regardless, I will be dosing her up on the probiotics to try to keep her immune system up.  We won’t find out if the surgery was a complete success until September, but I have faith it worked.  She is strong, healthy, beautiful and full of life.  You can’t tell she had a surgery 6 weeks ago at all.

My doctor appointments consisted of a quick blood test at one office and then a trip to my OBGYN for my 16 week pregnancy check up.  YES, I AM PREGNANT AGAIN!  After over 4 months of keeping a secret I can finally tell everyone!  Alexa is going to have a baby brother or sister.  We won’t know if it is a boy or girl until the birth.  This time, we are keeping the sex of the baby a secret.  We are overly excited and so is Alexa.  She is going to be a wonderful big sister.

If you want to follow my pregnancy, check out our pregancy blog: http://ourpregnancymindbodyspirit.blogspot.com/

Again I wish good weather for George and the rest of the crew on the crossing.  WE LOVE YOU BABE!  See you in a few weeks on the other side!