Imagine There Was No Tomorrow



Nathalie's Mom (this summer)



Nathalie and her parents (this summer 2010)

A good friend of mine is suffering.  Her mother, (her best friend), suddenly went into cardiac arrest this weekend and it is uncertain if she will make it.  It’s heartbreaking.  I don’t know what to write except for this prayer.  “God, please help to give Nathalie’s Mother the strength to pull through.  She is young, strong, and vibrant and her family needs her.  However, if you should feel it is her time to go, please ease her suffering and help her to come to you in peace.  And please give her family strength to get through these hard times.”  I’m shaking as I write this.  It puts everything in perspective.  I want to call everyone I love and tell them how much they mean to me.  I want to do this every day.  Imagine there was no tomorrow.  Although I know we will all have to deal with losing our mother (my best friend) some day, I can’t imagine loosing my mother…right now.  It would be devastating.  I love you Nathalie.  I’m so sorry you and your family are suffering.  I’m sending you so much good energy and love.  I am here for you always!

My Mom.  "I LOVE YOU MOM"

“Imagine there was no tomorrow

Imagine that I couldn’t see your face

 There’d be no limit to my sorrow

So all I can say

I wanna tell you something

Give you something

Show you in so many ways

Cause it would all mean nothing

If I don’t say something

Before it all goes away

Don’t wanna wait to bring you flowers

Waste another hour

Let alone another day

I’m gonna tell you something

Show you something

Won’t wait til it’s too late

Imagine there was no tomorrow

Imagine that I couldn’t see your face

There’d be no limit to my sorrow

Cause there is nothing that can fill this space

I wanna tell you something

Give you something

Show you in so many ways

Cause it would all mean nothing

If I don’t say something

Before it all goes away

Don’t wanna wait to bring you flowers

Waste another hour

Let alone another day

I’m gonna tell you something

Show you something

Won’t wait til it’s too late”

- Alicia Keys (part of "Tell You Something")

Left Behind

9pm on a Friday night, Alexa is asleep and I’m already in my PJs contemplating if I should work on some of my many pending Graphic Design projects (something I do most nights after Alexa is asleep), or work on my yachtie moms website, or get off this damn computer for once just to chill out alone on my couch, maybe with a glass of red wine and dark vegan chocolate and rent a movie.  When I am home and Daddy is away, this is my lonely life.  What makes it worse is that my “other half” isn’t just working by day in Monaco, France, Italy, Spain, Amsterdam, the Caribbean, Dubai, or where ever he might be at the time, but he is also expected to “work” at night.  You see, a big part of this job is entertaining the rich, fabulous, and others yacht industry people who are biting at the chance to get a piece of the pie.  Although I am over the whole going out EVERY night thing, somehow knowing that my husband is still very much actively participating in this lifestyle makes it harder on me.  I appreciate and welcome some solitude, but Daddy G is gone for work most of the time.  For example, he’s been in Europe since the beginning of June and will not return to us until September 29^th.  (Thankfully we were able to spend 2 and a half of those months with him in Europe on the company dime).  Mid October he is traveling back to Spain for a week then coming back to a full-on week of Fort Lauderdale International Boat Show day/night work.  In November, he will be in Amsterdam and Germany.  In December, he will be in St. Maartin and Antigua for 10 days.  In early 2011, he will be gone for 3+ months in the Caribbean, back in Florida for a month (if we’re lucky), then off to the Mediterranean again for 4 to 5 months.  One thing about this amazing, traveling, yachtie lifestyle is that when you are left behind, it can be quite lonely sometimes.

What a great way to start the day…

There’s this life that most of us live trying to make it on time to appointments, writing blogs, facebooking, traveling to “distant” lands, working at jobs, worrying about gaining a few pounds, worrying about money, striving to live up to societal (or parental) standards, struggling to find “balance” and then there’s right now.  Where you can exist in the deep penetrating emotional connection where none of that other stuff matters, in a web of connecting energy forever blending us to everything and into one another.  As adults (whatever that really means) we search (some consciously, some unconsciously) for “happiness”.  We try to find balance in the chaos and make since of all the distractions surrounding us sifting through years of manipulations to somehow gain back our innocence while preserving our hard earned wisdom.  Absorbing the enormity and elfin of our existence, as Alexa and I gaze over the vast ocean at sunrise on the beach this morning, felt both comforting and confining.  However, before my emotions began to drown me, I became distracted with the challenge of photographically capturing this flawless, open, pure soul dancing among a flawless, open, pure ocean sunrise.  One juicy watermelon sliver and 184 photos later, I joined Alexa dancing among the wind and morning sun rays, sharing the soft sand between our fingers and toes, bouncing together in the bravura ocean waves, just being in the energy, the love, the moment, the now, together.  What a great way to start the day…

I left Florida with a baby and returned with a little girl

I type away tonight deliriously tired.  As you can imagine, once you finally make it back, it takes days to get everything in order with the house (and yourself) after being gone so long.  Holly guacamole, that was a long trip back to Florida!  17 hours total travel time.  All things considered, Alexa did absolutely amazing.  I’ve been blessed with a smart, little, sweetheart, hug muffin who’s also a terrific traveler and expert gamer.  Today is Alexa Capri Shannon Whitehouse’s 17 month birthday anniversary and in her short life she’s traveled to New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Texas, Antigua, St. Maartin, France, Italy, and Monaco (some of those places numerous times).  She swam in turquoise Caribbean and Mediterranean waters, danced in the winter snows in Texas, climbed glacier French/Switzerland mountains, and dined at the finest French Riviera restaurants.  This is what makes it all worth it.

I knew Alexa changed quite a bit while in Europe these past few months, but being back in our Florida home just proves it to me even more.  She’s outgrown most of her toys and clothes and… well… she’s just so grown up compared to 2 and a half months ago.  I left Florida with a baby and returned with a little girl.  She says at least 3 new words a day repeating the last word of just about all my sentences.  She’s easily saying 50+ words (some in French), so many I can’t even begin to try to count, but I’ll try...  Mama, Dada, friends, girl, hi, ball, kick, up, off, on, light, cat, dog, duck, giraffe, baaaa (sheep), mooo (cow), chick, horse, pig, fish, ox (oc for a singular ox), one, two, three, five, six, eight, nine, eyes, mouth, ears, hair, nose, arm, feet, no, yes, bath, beach, love, hug, I love you, chair, juice, milk (guck), cup, clap, hat, book, blocks, stack, stairs, walk, step, shoes, apple, broccoli, cheese, the list goes on and on… She knows almost the whole alphabet and the sounds each letter makes as well.  She knows some of her colors and can match every shape.  She knows all the animals and most of our body parts.  She understands EVERYTHING we say to her and can even read.  But the most amazing thing of all, she can operate my iPhone perfectly, sorting through her pre-school apps picking and choosing the games she wants to play while purposefully avoiding my “boring” apps, already practically mastering each of her numerous pre-school games.  I’m not writing this to brag about my little genius, but instead creating a log for myself of her development.  Something I can look back on when she’s grown - cherish the memories - and also share this blog with her when/if she has a little one of her own one day.

Wow! What a Great Weekend.

Antibes

Wow! What a great weekend with the girls. Just as suspected, Alexa was happy as a clam to be around her big sisters again. Antibes spoiled us with lavender, spices, olive oil, mueles, frites, tiramisu, and cappuccinos. Then, following an afternoon cruise through the charming village of Eze, Daddy G cooked a fabulous eggplant parm which we all enjoyed on our beautiful Monaco terrace overlooking the marina for the perfect close to our first day together. A beach lunch, merry-go-rounds, and glitter sand filled our Saturday in hoity toity Cannes. Carnivorous bees joined us that evening for a gorgeous curry dinner on the terrace back in Monaco. The last day was a pizza, palace, poker Sunday in Monaco strolling through the gardens overlooking the Mediterranean Sea so lovely. Wow! What a great weekend with the girls. Caitlin and Michelle are back in London now, but not for long… Scotland, Paris, and Dublin are on their itinerary for the next three weeks with many more destinations to follow. My itinerary now consists of one destination, Florida. Hot, green, luscious, Florida with all the conveniences I’m used to, territory I’m familiar with, and people who speak English (mostly). Florida, home. I’m packing up two and a half months worth of mine and Alexa’s crap today. Alexa and I head home tomorrow. Home. “Home”. What does that word really mean to me? Is Florida my home since I own a house there and I have friends there? Or is Texas really my home since I grew up there and my friends, brother, mother, father, niece, and my 13-day-old baby nephew who I haven’t had a chance to meet yet are there? Have I really ever felt like I have a home or should this traveling soul confess the world is my home? Actually, George and Alexa are my home. So then, I’m not really going home, am I? I’m already home. As a matter of fact, Alexa and I are leaving part of our home in Monaco tomorrow when we step onto that plane. But George will be home soon. Home is where the heart is. Regardless, I can’t help but excitingly shout, “FLORIDA, HERE WE COME!”

Eze

Back Packing in Eze

Sisters in Monaco

Riding the Merry-Go-Round in Cannes

Starting at the End

I start this blog today, September 9th, just at the end of a long summer in the Mediterranean. I wish I would have started this blog before this rosy and thorny work trip, so I could have shared the adventure of the last few months. As a matter of fact, I wish I would have started this blog when Alexa was born almost 17 months ago. Or maybe even started the blog when I was pregnant just so I would have a journal of all the trials and tribulations of a yachtie lifestyle pregnancy… the joy and anticipation, the amazing feeling of her first flutter kicks, my spiritual journey, and the utter loneliness of it all. But none of that was recorded on digital paper, only in my blurred memories. Instead, today, September 9th is the day I began my blogging.

Today is special. Alexa’s big sisters, Caitlin and Michelle, are flying into Monaco from their study abroad program in London. They are visiting us until Sunday and we have a packed itinerary planned for them including mini Italian excursions, frolicking around the French Riviera, and of course touring the magnificent Monaco. Monaco, our home now for nearly 2 and a half months. George, Daddy, has been here for almost 4 months. The girls fly back to London September 12th and less than two days later, Alexa and I close out our Monaco journey and head back to Florida without Daddy. I’ve already started packing.

Although I am dying to get home, back to my life with all the conveniences I’m used to and people who I can efficiently communicate with, the thought of leaving without Alexa’s Daddy is eating away at my heart. I will miss him, of course, but I am more concerned about Alexa. I just keep telling myself “Alyssa, it is just two short weeks, he was gone for the entire month of June and Alexa was okay”. But this time it is different. Alexa has finally had the opportunity to spend quality time with her Daddy this summer and they have developed an even stronger bond than before. Somewhere in the back of my mind I dread another 15 hour flight alone with Alexa stuck in coach in an isle seat, but the forced separation between father and baby girl is heartbreaking. “Just two short weeks, Alyssa, just two short weeks till Daddy will be home with Alexa… Just two short weeks”.

On a happier note, Alexa will be ecstatic to see her big sisters when she wakes up tomorrow morning. She loves them dearly and will be overflowing with joy in their presence. She glows when she speaks to them/sees them on skype. She needs a sister, or brother, to be with on a regular basis.

Although it will be sad to see the girls leave to go back to school Sunday, I am utterly excited to see the excitement on Alexa’s face when we walk into our home in Florida the evening of September 14th. Amongst the laughs this European summer, there were some tears and I can tell Alexa misses home. She will be so happy to be back in her own purple polka dotted butterfly bonanza room with all her toys and books in English.

Overall the Mediterranean summer season was a success both for work and for the bonding between Alexa and her Daddy. Plus, we have some great photos to go along with our unforgettable memories.