I need to go for a long run and I’d love to get drunk...

I’m going to be honest with you… I’m having a rough time.  George and I have been separated this time for 18 days so far and it feels like an eternity.  I’m sick, exhausted, emotional, stressed, overwhelmed, and in pain.  I’m ready for this pregnancy to be over with and at the same time completely stressed out of my mind about the arrival of this newest little addition.  I constantly wonder how I am going to balance taking care of two, mostly alone.  My patience is shot and my emotions are running high.  This normally calm, strong woman has cried more tears in the last 24 hours than I care to admit.  Mostly tears of guilt as I beat myself up each night for not being more patient with Alexa during these final weeks.  I feel like I’m running out of time with my precious daughter.  I am simultaneously being torn between irritation/exhaustion by her strong-headed, full-blown toddlerism and desperately wanting to spend every waking moment smothering her with kisses and I love you’s.

To top it off, I haven’t had the time or energy to get anything ready for this new little baby. I’ve been home from France now for two weeks and all I’ve managed to get done for the baby is moving a couple pieces of furniture and buying a few clothes.  The crib is in pieces, literally in pieces.  The swing is buried deep in the garage and probably has families of spiders living in it.  There are so many little infant bits and pieces scattered about all my friends and I desperately need it all to start coming together fast.  The stress of my nesting instincts is becoming unbearable. 

How am I going to balance a toddler and an infant, work, manage a house hold and manage myself alone?  I need to go for a long run and I’d love to get drunk… just a little drunk.  Sadly, neither is in my near future… well, maybe they actually are… Eek.  Only 5 to 7 weeks before I am a yachtie mom of two!  Holy Shit!