I can barely swallow. “I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show. I should be hoping but I can’t stop thinking…” I guess because I pride myself on being strong… on being able to calmly handle even the toughest of times. But this is my daughter! My two year old daughter is having major surgery tomorrow morning!!!! I’m trying hard to imagine her after the surgery strong, healthy, laughing, glowing, playing… but I’m choking. What if… What if…? I can’t write my fears or even acknowledge them. I… I’m choking. I feel this pinching, tight, squeezing behind the skin on my face. My muscles trying everything in their power not to sob. My shoulders glued to my ears. My hands on my face. I’m breaking down. God! Please protect my precious child. Please help her to come out of this surgery strong and healthy. Please help her to understand. Please give her strength. Please give me strength. I envision her after the surgery stronger than ever… laughing and playing, learning and growing. I envision us traveling the world together, exploring and spreading love and compassion to all. Alexa has such a beautiful soul… naturally so kind… so thoughtful. She deserves to live a long, healthy, happy, fulfilling life. This world needs her. I NEED HER. Thank you God for giving us the strength to overcome this surgery… Thank you. thank you. thank you. I know… I know… I know she will be okay.
Good luck. I've been where you are, and everything came out okay. I had the same unspoken fears, the same nightmares. And they were unfounded.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping for a speedy recovery.
I am so pleased that the surgery is over and you can all move on from this nightmare condition that poor Alexa has been so brave dealing with. Love to you all and heal well Alexa xxx
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