Balance...

What a gorgeous 10.10.10.  A little fun in the sun and waves Saturday with the fam, a delicious Saturday night date with my husband (the first since Valentine’s Day), a lovely Sunday brunch in Weston at Jenna’s, and a Sunday afternoon stroll through Mizner Park made for a wonderful weekend.  Now, a dose of bad news… Caitlin’s been sick trying to deal with shitty London health care while George and I helplessly await updates via bbm.  We are worried sick about her.  Alexa and I both caught a cold this week, but we seem to be on the mend.  I’m insanely swamped with work, but procrastinating in order to squeeze out a quick blog update.  I’m severely struggling with balancing work, school, mommyism, house wife “work”, exercise, sleep, bill management, and other financial obligations.

Essentially, in order to cross off at least a few items on my daily to-do list, it looks as though I’ve been forced to temporarily suspend my blogging, sleep, and apparently all forms of exercise.  Although I am frantically fighting full burnout, I see light at the end of this insane sleepless unbalanced tunnel.  After interviewing 10+ pre-preschools and 12+ potential babysitters this week, I finally found a suitable fit.  Finally, I can begin to achieve the balance in my daily life that I’ve been longing for and maybe even be a Super Mom who actually sleeps.  However, due to the fact it is Fort Lauderdale International Boat Show month and I start classes again later this month, the sleep still may not come for a while.  After this weekend I will most definitely have to pull an all-nighter tonight in order to get my work done for Monday morning.  This scenario will repeat itself numerous times over the next three months, but Alexa starting “school” part-time should help alleviate some stress.  Although, I’m going to miss my little munchkin dearly while she attends school, I think school will be good for both of us.  Maybe in between work and classes while Alexa is in school, I can squeeze in some runs again since I am supposed to run another half marathon November 14^th.  Alexa’s new schedule: Monday mornings Alexa has music class… Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday Alexa will be in school… Friday will be our girlie day (unless I have to work an event)… and Saturday am Alexa has swim class… Sunday is fun day with Mommy and Daddy (when Daddy is in town).  Actually next Sunday Alexa and I fly to Texas for a few days and Daddy goes to Spain.  The Sunday after next Daddy will still be in Spain.  And Alexa isn’t really starting school until October 26^th… Then it’s boatshow… why am I even trying to make a schedule?  S-s-s-s-Supermom who?

Rainbows

I started this blog site with every intent to write in it almost daily, yet it’s been September 17^th since my last confession.  Why have I slacked so badly?  First of all, my distance is due to the fact that I have been a single mother with full-time jobs and no babysitter or family to help for over 2 weeks.  (The joys of being a yachtie mom who lives far away from family).  I’ve also been overwhelmed with emotion about the sudden loss of my good friend’s sweet, free-spirited mother.  A remarkable young mother of only 60 who had an amazing life forced too early to leave behind 4 beautiful children and her loving husband of almost 40 years.  She sent her beautiful daughter, my good friend, a rainbow the other day.  And not just any ole’ rainbow… one that stretched from end to end over the ocean, bright and clear as can be.  “For you my love!  Mua! Mua! A rainbow for you!”



"Boozing" it up before heading out



Amidst the crazy work hours and this heartbreaking tragedy, I’m still determined to show Alexa the time of her life, daily, through 1000’s of kisses, hugs, and “I love yous”, and also recently kiddie playdates, a walk for farm animals, cheering at the Dolphins/Jets game in executive box seats, seeing most of “Sesame Street Live” at the theatre, and dancing to some tunes in a tot music class.  Her smile, her laughter, is my reason for living.

Daddy came home Wednesday night.  Yaaaay!  Alexa and I are thrilled to have him home.  Now if my damn work would leave me alone for at least half a day so I can spend some time with my family, that would really be nice!  I think I’ll be playing hooky this weekend (at least during the day while G and Alexa are awake).  A family Saturday picnic at the beach and a BBQ football party with friends at our house on Sunday sounds really perfect.  Oh, and I’m running a 10K Sunday morning to raise money for the Boys and Girls Club.  The weather looks like typical South Florida weather.  Maybe sunshine, maybe some showers… Maybe, we’ll see a rainbow.





"Dolphins Party is Suite'r" Go Dolphins! (Too bad they lost)

Don't mess with my "Tofurky"!

Imagine There Was No Tomorrow



Nathalie's Mom (this summer)



Nathalie and her parents (this summer 2010)

A good friend of mine is suffering.  Her mother, (her best friend), suddenly went into cardiac arrest this weekend and it is uncertain if she will make it.  It’s heartbreaking.  I don’t know what to write except for this prayer.  “God, please help to give Nathalie’s Mother the strength to pull through.  She is young, strong, and vibrant and her family needs her.  However, if you should feel it is her time to go, please ease her suffering and help her to come to you in peace.  And please give her family strength to get through these hard times.”  I’m shaking as I write this.  It puts everything in perspective.  I want to call everyone I love and tell them how much they mean to me.  I want to do this every day.  Imagine there was no tomorrow.  Although I know we will all have to deal with losing our mother (my best friend) some day, I can’t imagine loosing my mother…right now.  It would be devastating.  I love you Nathalie.  I’m so sorry you and your family are suffering.  I’m sending you so much good energy and love.  I am here for you always!

My Mom.  "I LOVE YOU MOM"

“Imagine there was no tomorrow

Imagine that I couldn’t see your face

 There’d be no limit to my sorrow

So all I can say

I wanna tell you something

Give you something

Show you in so many ways

Cause it would all mean nothing

If I don’t say something

Before it all goes away

Don’t wanna wait to bring you flowers

Waste another hour

Let alone another day

I’m gonna tell you something

Show you something

Won’t wait til it’s too late

Imagine there was no tomorrow

Imagine that I couldn’t see your face

There’d be no limit to my sorrow

Cause there is nothing that can fill this space

I wanna tell you something

Give you something

Show you in so many ways

Cause it would all mean nothing

If I don’t say something

Before it all goes away

Don’t wanna wait to bring you flowers

Waste another hour

Let alone another day

I’m gonna tell you something

Show you something

Won’t wait til it’s too late”

- Alicia Keys (part of "Tell You Something")

Left Behind

9pm on a Friday night, Alexa is asleep and I’m already in my PJs contemplating if I should work on some of my many pending Graphic Design projects (something I do most nights after Alexa is asleep), or work on my yachtie moms website, or get off this damn computer for once just to chill out alone on my couch, maybe with a glass of red wine and dark vegan chocolate and rent a movie.  When I am home and Daddy is away, this is my lonely life.  What makes it worse is that my “other half” isn’t just working by day in Monaco, France, Italy, Spain, Amsterdam, the Caribbean, Dubai, or where ever he might be at the time, but he is also expected to “work” at night.  You see, a big part of this job is entertaining the rich, fabulous, and others yacht industry people who are biting at the chance to get a piece of the pie.  Although I am over the whole going out EVERY night thing, somehow knowing that my husband is still very much actively participating in this lifestyle makes it harder on me.  I appreciate and welcome some solitude, but Daddy G is gone for work most of the time.  For example, he’s been in Europe since the beginning of June and will not return to us until September 29^th.  (Thankfully we were able to spend 2 and a half of those months with him in Europe on the company dime).  Mid October he is traveling back to Spain for a week then coming back to a full-on week of Fort Lauderdale International Boat Show day/night work.  In November, he will be in Amsterdam and Germany.  In December, he will be in St. Maartin and Antigua for 10 days.  In early 2011, he will be gone for 3+ months in the Caribbean, back in Florida for a month (if we’re lucky), then off to the Mediterranean again for 4 to 5 months.  One thing about this amazing, traveling, yachtie lifestyle is that when you are left behind, it can be quite lonely sometimes.

What a great way to start the day…

There’s this life that most of us live trying to make it on time to appointments, writing blogs, facebooking, traveling to “distant” lands, working at jobs, worrying about gaining a few pounds, worrying about money, striving to live up to societal (or parental) standards, struggling to find “balance” and then there’s right now.  Where you can exist in the deep penetrating emotional connection where none of that other stuff matters, in a web of connecting energy forever blending us to everything and into one another.  As adults (whatever that really means) we search (some consciously, some unconsciously) for “happiness”.  We try to find balance in the chaos and make since of all the distractions surrounding us sifting through years of manipulations to somehow gain back our innocence while preserving our hard earned wisdom.  Absorbing the enormity and elfin of our existence, as Alexa and I gaze over the vast ocean at sunrise on the beach this morning, felt both comforting and confining.  However, before my emotions began to drown me, I became distracted with the challenge of photographically capturing this flawless, open, pure soul dancing among a flawless, open, pure ocean sunrise.  One juicy watermelon sliver and 184 photos later, I joined Alexa dancing among the wind and morning sun rays, sharing the soft sand between our fingers and toes, bouncing together in the bravura ocean waves, just being in the energy, the love, the moment, the now, together.  What a great way to start the day…

I left Florida with a baby and returned with a little girl

I type away tonight deliriously tired.  As you can imagine, once you finally make it back, it takes days to get everything in order with the house (and yourself) after being gone so long.  Holly guacamole, that was a long trip back to Florida!  17 hours total travel time.  All things considered, Alexa did absolutely amazing.  I’ve been blessed with a smart, little, sweetheart, hug muffin who’s also a terrific traveler and expert gamer.  Today is Alexa Capri Shannon Whitehouse’s 17 month birthday anniversary and in her short life she’s traveled to New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Texas, Antigua, St. Maartin, France, Italy, and Monaco (some of those places numerous times).  She swam in turquoise Caribbean and Mediterranean waters, danced in the winter snows in Texas, climbed glacier French/Switzerland mountains, and dined at the finest French Riviera restaurants.  This is what makes it all worth it.

I knew Alexa changed quite a bit while in Europe these past few months, but being back in our Florida home just proves it to me even more.  She’s outgrown most of her toys and clothes and… well… she’s just so grown up compared to 2 and a half months ago.  I left Florida with a baby and returned with a little girl.  She says at least 3 new words a day repeating the last word of just about all my sentences.  She’s easily saying 50+ words (some in French), so many I can’t even begin to try to count, but I’ll try...  Mama, Dada, friends, girl, hi, ball, kick, up, off, on, light, cat, dog, duck, giraffe, baaaa (sheep), mooo (cow), chick, horse, pig, fish, ox (oc for a singular ox), one, two, three, five, six, eight, nine, eyes, mouth, ears, hair, nose, arm, feet, no, yes, bath, beach, love, hug, I love you, chair, juice, milk (guck), cup, clap, hat, book, blocks, stack, stairs, walk, step, shoes, apple, broccoli, cheese, the list goes on and on… She knows almost the whole alphabet and the sounds each letter makes as well.  She knows some of her colors and can match every shape.  She knows all the animals and most of our body parts.  She understands EVERYTHING we say to her and can even read.  But the most amazing thing of all, she can operate my iPhone perfectly, sorting through her pre-school apps picking and choosing the games she wants to play while purposefully avoiding my “boring” apps, already practically mastering each of her numerous pre-school games.  I’m not writing this to brag about my little genius, but instead creating a log for myself of her development.  Something I can look back on when she’s grown - cherish the memories - and also share this blog with her when/if she has a little one of her own one day.

Wow! What a Great Weekend.

Antibes

Wow! What a great weekend with the girls. Just as suspected, Alexa was happy as a clam to be around her big sisters again. Antibes spoiled us with lavender, spices, olive oil, mueles, frites, tiramisu, and cappuccinos. Then, following an afternoon cruise through the charming village of Eze, Daddy G cooked a fabulous eggplant parm which we all enjoyed on our beautiful Monaco terrace overlooking the marina for the perfect close to our first day together. A beach lunch, merry-go-rounds, and glitter sand filled our Saturday in hoity toity Cannes. Carnivorous bees joined us that evening for a gorgeous curry dinner on the terrace back in Monaco. The last day was a pizza, palace, poker Sunday in Monaco strolling through the gardens overlooking the Mediterranean Sea so lovely. Wow! What a great weekend with the girls. Caitlin and Michelle are back in London now, but not for long… Scotland, Paris, and Dublin are on their itinerary for the next three weeks with many more destinations to follow. My itinerary now consists of one destination, Florida. Hot, green, luscious, Florida with all the conveniences I’m used to, territory I’m familiar with, and people who speak English (mostly). Florida, home. I’m packing up two and a half months worth of mine and Alexa’s crap today. Alexa and I head home tomorrow. Home. “Home”. What does that word really mean to me? Is Florida my home since I own a house there and I have friends there? Or is Texas really my home since I grew up there and my friends, brother, mother, father, niece, and my 13-day-old baby nephew who I haven’t had a chance to meet yet are there? Have I really ever felt like I have a home or should this traveling soul confess the world is my home? Actually, George and Alexa are my home. So then, I’m not really going home, am I? I’m already home. As a matter of fact, Alexa and I are leaving part of our home in Monaco tomorrow when we step onto that plane. But George will be home soon. Home is where the heart is. Regardless, I can’t help but excitingly shout, “FLORIDA, HERE WE COME!”

Eze

Back Packing in Eze

Sisters in Monaco

Riding the Merry-Go-Round in Cannes